


I See Me Through You

by SweetSorcery



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief, Haunting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-10
Updated: 2011-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSorcery/pseuds/SweetSorcery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is Cedric's home, and nothing can change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See Me Through You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All canon referred to within belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, Warner Bros. Inc., and possibly others. Non-canon bits were created for non-profit, non-infringement entertainment.
> 
> Archiving: Nowhere except here, and not in translated form either.
> 
> Author's Notes: This was written in March 2006.

In Harry's fifth year, Hogwarts acquired a new assistant teacher. He had missed his last year of schooling, through no fault of his own, but he'd been a model student, and he'd excelled at Transfigurations. Professor McGonagall wanted to reduce her workload, and the young man longed to stay at Hogwarts, was _bound_ to stay, and Dumbledore didn't have the heart to refuse his plea.

The lessons left Harry in pieces. He didn't say a word after that first silent glance of recognition had shattered him. He sat with his head hung low over his parchment, hoping, praying, that he wouldn't have to answer questions or participate in any way.

 _Don't speak to me. Please don't speak to me. I'll die if you do._

After each Transfigurations lesson, Harry ran out of class to find a quiet spot where he could fall down and cry until he was completely hollow. Too hollow even for pain.

The others were uncomfortable about the new teacher at first, and some of them even a little weepy, but they came around soon enough, for there had never been another teacher at Hogwarts, not even Lupin, who listened so well, explained so patiently, and marked so fairly.

For several lessons, Harry was left alone. He felt familiar eyes on him. And he felt the sadness caused by his avoidance. It suffocated him. He couldn't meet those eyes. Couldn't speak when he was near him. Couldn't bear it.

 _Don't. Please, don't._

Harry meticulously did his homework for each lesson and handed it in, dropping his parchment on the teacher's desk wordlessly before fleeing. He studied harder than he ever had for any other subject. He couldn’t bear to disappoint him in that way as well. But he wouldn't... couldn't look at him.

And he couldn't protect himself from hearing his voice. Remembering the things it had said before... Before. All he could do was pray that it would not say his name.

 _If you love me, don't break me._

Harry was strained as thin as a spider's web by the time it was finally spoken out loud - late one winter morning, after the rest of the class had been excused. Harry instinctively knew his time was up and stayed behind.

"Harry." There was so much longing in that single word.

"No. I'm not." With a sob, Harry raised his eyes. "I can't be anybody. You're not here."

"I am, Harry." Once sparkling grey eyes which had turned to glass looked at him sadly. He was suddenly so close, right in front of Harry. "I'm here for _you_."

Harry stared up into the eyes he loved so much. Remembered them, but couldn't find them again. "You're not," he accused. "I hate you. I hate you! You're not!" His voice broke and he sank to his knees, between empty desks, in an empty room. Empty heart a dead weight in his chest. He was sobbing his throat raw, clawing at emptiness. "I killed you."

"Sh." A soft whisper over his ear. "You didn't, Harry. You couldn't. And you don't hate me." Calm, cool breath that couldn't _be_ shivered over his tear-stained cheek.

"I do," Harry insisted meekly, closing his eyes against the sensation. "I have to."

"Why?" So patient. So gentle. Still.

"Because you left me. Just when I..." Harry rocked back and forth.

"I'm here." So unbearably reasonable. So untrue.

A laugh that sounded like pain tore from Harry's throat. "But you're not!"

"Can you hear me?" A quiet whisper into Harry's ear.

Harry shivered, nodding reluctantly.

"Can you see me?"

Harry raised his eyes, a translucent smile tearing memories from him with force, then cradling them gently between them. He sobbed. "Yes, but..."

"Can you feel me?" Warmth enveloped him like a ball of sunlight, like warm water scented with spicy autumn and soothing winter.

Harry lifted his arms, and the feeling grew more intense. White translucence held him suspended as if there was no time and no reality. "Yes," he sighed into an invisible chest.

A soft laugh swept over him. "Then I'm here, my sweet little fool."

And Harry cried on the classroom floor, cradled by light and warmth. He could swear he felt Cedric's kiss against his temple, and finally, his tears froze into a smile.

 

THE END


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